WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

If our very own media personalities and politicians in Kenya were asked why the chicken crossed the road, you are sure to get some of the most interesting feedback: picture some of the following selected ones.

Kibaki: buree kabisa…mavi ya kuku…kuregarega ikitafuta jogoo;inakataa kutaga mayai kazi yake ni kuvuka barabaraa!!

Wakoli bifoli: ni parapara kani hiyo chameni? Kama ni chokoo road hawa watu walitudang’anya pwana, hata juzi tulikuwa na wafula huko tukitafuta huyo chokoo….

nivuke nisivuk

Kalonzo: by brother from another mother unauhakika ni kuku ama ni jogoo?  Ni kuku ama ni kifaranga? Ilivuka ama haikuvuka?

Marende: order!! Order!! It is in full compliance with the standing orders…proceed kuku!

P.L.O:  the avien’s organs of locomotion inevitably traversed through peregination purely on vagabondage or what some common spirits will call aimless wonderings. Its not worth my animadverting eitherway!!

Balala: ah!! Lahaula!! Akakosa nini kuku kujihadharisha kuvuka barabara?, jameni ingekuaje kama ingekanyangwa na gari?

Moha wa Eisich : stubid kuku..aliboteza watoto yake, shauri yeye navuka barabara ni kutafuta watoto yake!!

David Rudisha: kuku filikuwa na fiatu filifyo ng’ara……filipofuka barabara!!

Mbotela: mara kwa mara utawakuta wanavuka barabara bila kujali bila kzingatia itikadi zozote…haifai, nauliza tena mambo kama hayo ni ungwana?

Karua: it’s the constitutional right of ever hen to do as it please!! It is guaranteed by the constitution, the UNDHR, the civil and political rights conventions of 1966, article ….section…the kuku did the right thing, it needs not make any explanation….

Atwoli: COTU ina kuku? COTU haijishughulishi na kuku, mushenzi…COTU sio Kenchick mushenzi…mushenzi, tutashika huyo kuku tumchinjie baba!!

Khalwale: the owner of the chicken should explain to the house why he let his chicken loose, he should write a full report, a commission of enquiry should be formed to investigate the chicken’s motive for crossing that part of the road…a vote of no confidence against the mover of this motion!!

Ruto: tutajua ni kuku ama ni jogoo huvuka barabara baada yah hague!!

Moi: gitu kani? Ati ohh guku ..ati ohh kuku   kuku ni mocha tu….jogoo ni ya kanu!! Uhuru aliwacha jogoo avuke barabara…

Jeff kionange: there are three sides to the chicken story!! We will cross the road and bring you the three sides of these stories…pass the word around, the kuku on the bench!!

Sunny bindra: violation of the traffic rules #twitterbigstick @kuku @kenchick

Pius Muiru: muumini, panda mbegu yako leo kwa nambari ya M-pesa kwenye runinga yako, Kuku hataziona mbegu zako hata akivuka njia aje kwako!! Hapa duniani wakristo kuku ni wengi…barabara na barabara ni nyembemba iendayo……..

Sonko: hiyo ni kazi ya kanjo, hawa watu wanacheza na sisi, tutawagonga!! Zuuieni kuku ama tuwaonyesha vile tutazichinja..au sio wasee? Maboy wangu wako rada tutazirarua manze!!

Caroline Mutuku:  those are petty things discussed on the social media…by lost numbskulls…, I gat better things to do, i ain’t answering no chicken questions! Mcheeeew!!

©Dalle 2012.

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