NEPOTISM/ETHNICITY RULE BOOK

Well my classmates are all anxious, others restless and many more uncertain about our going for attachment coming this May till August. One thing that is disheartening though is how everyone talks about how he/she has sent his/her application form to this or that organization, to put it more bluntly to “someone on the ground”, comments such as “I have a connection in this or that government office…” is now common place. People I admired for their staunch and seemingly unwavering condemnation for corruption and societal rot are the very ones who are now upholding the vice, only a few months ago they sounded like they die for truth and honesty and fight ethnicity. Remember this is the generation that should actually be fighting nepotism, ethnicity, favoritism and all such retrogressive practices and rot in the Kenyan job sector, but what is happening? The contrary!!

The revelation by the NCIC about the nepotism and ethnicity in the varsities and many other government offices where particular communities dominate some institution is reflective of the many years of favoritism that my classmates and many other youths are still condoning.

 I came up with this cronyism guide, to depict the rot in the Kenyan government; the uncommunicated rules that are bleeding our beloved country.  

How to apply for employment in Kenya for instant results and faster short listing

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1.    .Make deliberate grammatical mistakes that are linked to your mother tongue

•       Apprication for the kikuyus

•     Abblication for the somali’s, this can pass for the Boran’s and generally the cushites

1.    Carry out your research in time, not on the organizational needs but on the tribal constitution, is the organization run by your tribal people?

•        The recent NCIC report might be a useful directory to find the best places you may stand a chance.

1.      Mention one or two people in power that you know- allude to your uncle who is a permanent secretary in that or that other ministry.
2.      You stand a greater chance if you send word to a “person on the ground” who is “one of your own”
3.      Drop all your Christian/Islamic names, just use plain tribal names- make reference to your particularly “influential” clan if you wish.
4.      However unrelated you are to the HRM, just trace some kind of lineage to a great, great grandfather or some other kin, you may as well just mention how his/her gatekeeper is your uncle.
5.      Do not use your institutional address; reference to your local village earns you a bigger chance than when you use an address in Nairobi.
6.      Never send application letter to the required/recommended/provided address, have it hand delivered by your member of parliament or someone holding a big government office.
7.      Ensure you meet the “boss” a day, an hour or anytime before the interviews are conducted and make sure you carry some cash with you.

Donts.

1.      Never apply for a job vacancy two day’s before the deadline!!-because its just a wastage of time.
2.      Never apply when you are sure you don’t have a political leader or someone influential in the government to back your application up.
3.      Never apply especially if you are totally driven by passion, you stand for integrity and you consider yourself moral!! You will be frustrated by the rot in the government.
4.     Never send your application forms through posting, direct mail, or any other means that will prevent you from having you personally interact with the necessary power.
5.     Never apply if you don not have enough cash on you, you might be required to produce a non refundable fee ranging between 30000 and 100,000 in a moments notice.
6.      Never apply to any parastatal that you know is dominated by a certain tribe, know your bounds.

Go ahead and bleed this beautiful country ye all filled with selfish and egoistic interest.

Go on and plunder the best of Kenyan brains by denying them a chance to serve their own country.

Go on and kill the dreams and ambitions of the best that we have respected CEOs, and Bwana managers.